Casting All Care

Humble yourselves…casting all your care upon Him. 1 Peter 5:6-7

I was 41 years old when I learned how to do this.

A bitter wall between me and my husband during an 8 month long divorce battle was bad enough. I was barely hanging on by my fingertips, but at the same time I was losing my Mother, who had always been my source of strength, wisdom and love, to cancer. She went into the hospital August 27, 1994, died on Thanksgiving Day. When my eyes opened each morning I braced for – not knowing what blow -- was coming that day; that was the terrifying part.

 Our home, supposed to be a place of rest and safety, felt cold and unwelcoming. Each day until he was moved out, I dreaded coming home. Even worse was the suffering I saw in my two daughters, as they watched the world they knew crumbling. Prayer kept me on my feet, but barely.

Once the presence of turmoil had left, immediately I began again to see our home as our refuge, newly dedicated to our Father’s loving care, sustained by His grace and love. But there were still battles to be won. We had three vehicles, but two were beginning to be less dependable. With one daughter driving to high school, the other driving to Denton to college and her gospel music group performing at night and often returning very late, I worried about their safety when their cars would break down. Worry was a lifelong, chronic part of my existence even when things were going smoothly, so external peace for the family didn’t yet extend to internal peace, the kind of peace I knew was promised to a child of the King. So I reminded God of His promise and He reminded me that I needed to trust Him more.

Every payday I habitually wrote down the list of bills due; there was nothing left over for repairs and certainly not for a car payment. Yet we needed a new car that wouldn’t need repairs. Any math skills I had told me what I needed just didn’t exist. So every night when I prayed at bedtime, I laid the list on my bedside table and told God, “This is impossible. There are no answers. It’s up to you to figure this out, Lord,” And I’d turn out the light and go to sleep.

Within a few weeks, Kathy’s friend and fellow performer told Kathy about her search for a cheap used car and described one she couldn’t quite afford: a Dodge Charger from an elderly man who became ill soon after buying it and seldom drove it. Only 12 miles out of warranty, yet 3 years old. I actually felt my heart jump: new car, used car price, just as I had asked. I still didn’t understand how I could pay for it, but felt sure this was God’s answer. I  didn’t dare ignore this.  I went to the credit union and came home with the car. I still don’t know how, but it was paid for in 3 years and never went to a repair shop until it was paid for.

In addition to this miracle car, came the lesson learned that worry for me was sin, lack of trust. After an experience like this, greater faith in God’s protection enables me to feel bulletproof. Worry is no longer my daily companion. 

He tells me to keep my eye on Him, not on the problem.