A neighbor from long ago had a tiny son who was hated and avoided by all the neighborhood kids. He was uncontrolled, rude to adults, a danger to other kids, big or small, and vicious when he didn't get his way. After I caught him standing on my family's miniature picnic table swinging a big stick at my girls, I knocked on her door to explain that he was not allowed into my back yard and must not climb the fence and endanger my children, although her daughter, at my girl's age, was welcome.
I soon learned from her daughter that her mom was not at home--she had sent both her kids to stay with me until she returned. I was now her baby-sitter, expected to delay my planned trip for groceries, along with my daughters, had to wait until--whenever she returned? Apparently, the child learned his behavior from his mom!
When I later tried to discuss "childcare" with her, she waved away any comments: her college-educated wisdom led to her chosen method. "I believe any child he offends will soon teach him better." (Or, I thought, they would teach him to get even with someone who wouldn't let him have his own way and truly he grew even more dangerous, more determined to get whatever he wanted, and as an adult, he was headed for legal troubles.)
As it turned out, that mother died a few short years later, leaving her husband and his new wife to raise the boy. Perhaps this was God's second chance for the boy--I've often wondered whether the change was a blessing for the boy as he grew.
I raised my family as I was raised, setting boundaries, explaining concepts of fair play, sharing, being kind, obeying rules, Small children need only to understand and obey the word NO; as they grow, explanations help them understand why these things matter. If they don't learn to respect others and accept boundaries, how will they learn to accept God's boundaries and guidance as adults?
Along with learning how to treat others, they need to learn how NOT to behave and why, and how to coexist with the other kind of people.
Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
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