My middle name for half my life! Fear ruled my life for far too long--and in spite of my firm faith that ultimately Jesus would rescue me! Though the Bible said "FEAR NOT", darkness was, after all, surrounding me, and I never spent a day free from one fear or two others.
Since my earliest memories reminded me that my road was filled with fearful things. Fear of the dark, fear of the unknown, being laughed at, public speaking The world was a powerful enemy, limiting me as I cringed through my days until -- tornado terror, which reached its peak of control when my girls were tiny and their dad worked nights. Seemingly, constant storms dominated nightly weather news. Now besides fear for my own life, I worried about rescuing my girls! Despite my own full-time job, I kept the TV news on all night, hoping any storm news would awaken me. Thus began a lifetime vigil for the next 2 decades or so, with apparent success, since we all had survived!
Finally, living alone, God gave me a test to dealing with my habitual fears accumulating in my now solitary home. Tornadoes nearby were ripping apart airplanes grounded at DFW airport, about 5 miles from my office -- and I faced a 15 mile drive. I had just attended a powerful revival meeting all week, so was at my best (strongest?) I could face the drive, even though the high wind was blowing leaves and trash horizontally at right angles to the road. I paused at the service road and looked at the 3 lanes of the freeway entrance--sparse traffic seemed to behave fearlessly in spite of the wind, I looked at the road, wondering which lane I would land in, but hoped I wouldn't land on one of those cars speeding carelessly as if all was well. If only I had something to hold my little car on the road? Suddenly the hymn we had sung all week came to my mind. As I sang "He's my Rock, He's my deliverer, Of Him will I sing" My car heaved twice more as though to take wing--but then, though windswept trash still flew from right to left of me, my car stayed grounded, still, safe and the homeward trek was quiet. I was safe.
Our Lord promises tests and there were a few thrills and chills and with each I grew taller. I lost my job--but quickly found a much better one, a newer car when mine suddenly died, a break-in at home while I was away, many times crises were averted -- and then one night, He sent a test!
Dog and I were snugly dozing late one night when I was awakened by a HUGE crash and flash of lightning--or so I thought! Just a sudden storm--I went back to sleep, cuddling a trembling pup. Next morning neighbors woke me and took me outside to see the storm damage--a neighbor next door found one of their humongous elm trees demolished their kitchen and a 2nd one had damaged their car, garage, our fence and swept my electricity box off my wall (that was the fireball that woke me in the storm). My neighbor's house was condemned. My insurance paid a claim of about $6000 and my worst aftermath was lack of electricity for 10 days --and during and after all this, I was still calm, marveling! --I had slept through-----a tornado!!! Who--me? The Fraidy-Cat?
As promised, a series of tests followed over a long period--I must have reacted as He wished; I never had to repeat one of the tests--and among other surprises came--loss of a job (soon replaced with a better one), more service opportunities in gratitude to my King, and relocating from central Texas to the Houston area, sharing the home of my daughter and her husband, with 3 of her 5 children within reach of a kiss and hug!
This life will never be boring! God will always give you new things to learn and enjoy as you wait for His call to come Home. For everything God removes from your life will soon be replaced by something better, making you better, stronger, -- Now I'm 90 years old--and still Fearless!
No comments:
Post a Comment